C-a-C: 'Go five miles, turn right, then hang your first left'

"I really don't appreciate you giving me directions to 'The Jump Shot Store,' Coach Saunders. In fact, I suspect no such store even exists."

That's just my hilarious out-of-context interpretation of this sideline conversation between Washington Wizards bench boss Flip Saunders and heralded rookie John Wall from last night's debacle. What's yours? Best caption wins a Third Eye Blind song, complete with lyrics. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Shane Battier tries his hand at telepathy.

Note: Every single entry that referred to Shane using magic and casting spells literally made me laugh out loud, so I couldn't pick one above the others. On the minus side, that means none of you aspiring wizards won. On the plus side, here is part 1 of the 1978 CBS version of "Dr. Strange." So we're all winners!

Winner, vfettke: Monta: I'm the dude that risked millions of dollars driving a moped. There's not much of a mind to control, Shane.

Runner-up, Arian C: When asked where he got his defensive techniques, Shane Battier proudly replied, "The Mighty T-Rex."

Second runner-up, Mike: Battier: "These aren't the droids you are looking for ..."
Ellis: "These aren't the droids ..."
Battier: "Wait, that's not what I meant to say."

Elvin Hayes Magic Johnson Sam Jones Michael Jordan Jerry Lucas