Create-a-Caption: 'Dammit, Chris, clap fancier!'

Some teams employ assistant coaches to work with big men on their low-post games. The Miami Heat pay Keith Askins to make sure injured players look as crispy as possible. Step one: Wear socks that wouldn't look out of place on a 14-year-old faux Wiccan standing betwixt Hot Topic and Spencer's Gifts.

Best caption wins important lessons about dressing like a grownup. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Protect your eyes, Benny!

Winner, indeedproceed: Benny The Bull: "Hey, Jason Terry, do you think it's possible that anyone else in the world is doing this very same thing at this very same moment?"

Jason Terry: "I sure hope so, Benny the Bull. Or else, what the hell are we trying to save?"

Runner-up, the nafi: "This way, you won't have to see us choke in the playoffs again."

Second runner-up, Russell S: This is what happens when Brian Scalabrine's lack of manscaping grows out of control.

George Gervin Hal Greer John Havlicek Elvin Hayes Magic Johnson