Create-a-Caption: Cease your careless whispers, Jazz coaches

Not cool, Utah Jazz assistant coaches. If you've got something to say, just come out and say it. Psst-psst-ing to one another and hiding your faces in the event that the cross-court lip readers employed by Jerry Sloan might pick up on your secrets won't help anybody. Coach Sloan's a big boy — he can take whatever comments about having his face forever emblazoned on that dude's arm you can dish out.

It's like that guy I met at the bus stop always said: "An honest bench is a happy bench." Come clean, fellas. You'll feel better.

Best caption wins more bus stop wisdom. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Two great champions are staring through your soul.

Winner, Michael: Once again, visions of Brandon Roy trigger relapses at Hyperbolics Anonymous.

Ron Artest: "Brandon Roy is the best player I ever faced."

Bill Walton: "Brandon Roy is the greatest two-guard in the history of Western civilization!"

Runner-up, azv321: Walton: "Look, Ron, there he is: Barry Garcia!"

Artest: "Who's that? Jerry Garcia's brother?"

Walton: "No, Andy Garcia's brother."

Second runner-up, Mike: Walton: "Now, my son Luke — that's him right there — tells me you have been bullying him at practice."

Artest: "You are sooo dead."

Lenny Wilkens James Worthy Kareem Abdul Jabbar Nate Archibald Paul Arizin