Create-a-Caption: Erik Spoelstra has a moment

"Yes. Yes, I did it. I cursed Paul Millsap. I hated him, so much ... it — it — the f — it — flam — flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing — breathl — heaving breaths. Heaving breath ..."

Yikesaroo. We can't blame Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra all that much for going a little bit cray-cray, though. How many of us really had a clue that Pauly M was capable of all that? Best caption wins a cool cloth and some ice water. Good luck.

In our last adventure: VC chillin, Pietrus chillin', what more can I say? (Top billin'. That's what more I can say.)

Winner, Scott: Pietrus: So, what is zees dance again, Vincent?

Carter: Easy. Open the door. Get on the floor. Everybody walk the dinosaur. Got it?

Pietrus: Uh ... how you say ... no?

Runner-up, Jaceman: Pietrus: So I just gotta do this to get what I want?

Carter: Worked for me in Toronto.

Second runner-up, Mark M.: Vince Carter strained his hip flexor muscle and aggravated his groin on this exchange. He is listed as doubtful.

NOTE: A Special Commendation in Ruling, Gold Rope/Eye Patch Division, goes to indeedproceed for this epic remix of the Slick Rick classic, "Children's Story":

Heeeeere we go!
Once upon a time not long ago,
When people wore ironic T-shirts and lived life slow,
There was a young player who was misled
By another young player — this is what he said:
"Me an' you, Vince, we gon' make some cash,
Robbin GMs and makin' the dash."
They faked hurt but the money came with ease,
Yet one couldn't stop, like he had a disease.
He robbed Isiah, then-a Roddy and finally came to Otis Smith,
People thought he'd never fool Otis, but I'm not tellin' a myth,
Before he even grabbed a pen, he was actin' weird,
Chokin' in the playoffs and growin' a bearrrd.
But he signed the papers, Magic haven't won since,
And so goes the story of the boy named Vince.
He was only thirty-three, but said he had a bum knee;
Any type of contact, you can just watch him flee.
But this ain't funny, so don't ya dare fade,
Just another story 'bout GMs gettin' played.
Show a little promise and yo ass'll get PAID.

ED. NOTE: Good night!

Bob Cousy Dave Cowens Billy Cunningham Dave DeBusschere Clyde Drexler